Met with my doctor this morning just to touch base. Back in August, I switched to a new antidepressant and he wanted to see me a few months later to see how I like it. [Spoiler Alert: I like it.] I had a rough September and felt really terrible, depression-wise. But I was on a steady upswing throughout October and feel pretty fantastic right now. He asked me about my anxiety, too. I said the depression was well controlled with the new med, but the anxiety was less so. When something worries me, I think about it obsessively which, in medical terms, is "no bueno."
"How many days in a row do you go without feeling anxious?" he asked in the calmest, most matter of fact way possible.
"Days in a row?" I replied. "What do you mean?"
"How many consecutive days do you go without feeling anxious."
"Days in a row? DAYS. IN. A. ROW? That's the goal? To go more than one day without feeling anxious? I mean, I had one good day last week that I can remember, but that's it. Days in a ROW? That's the goal? Are you sure that should be the goal? Because that seems ambitious. Can we dial that back a bit? Days in a row. Huh. What a strange way to live."
And *that" is how I got a prescription for a new med, which wasn't the plan and, to be honest, I'm not thrilled about it. But I'll try it because this "days in a row" thing sounds interesting. He said people go for several days at a time without feeling anxious, which seems like an urban legend, right? So I'm going to try this new med, but only so I can call bullshit later. You know, unless it works, in which case I'll say "Thanks, doc! I never doubted you!"